Virginia Screenshot

When you're sitting down in the shower and puke on your own dick, the force of which causing you to simultaneously shit yourself.

"Hey, what'd you do last weekend?"

"Oh I was sick. I took a Virginia screenshot and the putrid smell of my own failures combined in the steamy air, as I watched the wretched pair mix and dive down the drain I could think only of my shortcomings. In that moment I was truly at my lowest, and I made a promise to myself and god that I would be a better man."

"Oh. I'm uh, sorry to hear that."

"Fret not. You mustn't take blame for my failures, but accept the lessons my tales yield"