Vulvatunity

A portmanteau that describes a Gentleman's chances of enjoying lady lips. Not to be confused with the word "Eggnog" as it quite clearly has nothing to do with it.

"You had any luck tonight Tarquin?"
"Well, Agamemnon, I had one vulvatunity but she stank of desperation and beans. I'm worth more than that."
"Fair enough. You fancy some eggnog?"
"That would be nice, thanks!"