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Wesleyan University is a small liberal arts college located in Middletown, Connecticut. Founded in 1831 by Methodist leaders, Wesleyan prides itself in providing a place for gay men in prom dresses and women with mustaches to roam the hillsides free of ridicule or embarrassment. With the exception of a handful of extremely attractive, intelligent, and relatively "normal" individuals, most students at Wesleyan are social outcasts, or techies, who take refuge in the university's open-minded, sunshine bathed, rainbow draped, "hurt me not my tree" philosophy.
Tim: "Yo, I visited Wesleyan University last week, and this dude tried giving me a blowjob!"
Hank: "That was a chick."
Tim: "Yo, I visited Wesleyan University last week and this dude tried giving me a blowjob!"
Hank: "Yea, that dude was gayer than AIDS."
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Illinois Wesleyan University, or IWU (pronounced eye-woo), is a small liberal arts university in Bloomington, Illinois that consists of about 2500 students.
IWU is in close proximity to Illinois State University, so often there is a sense of rivalry between students at each institution. The high cost of attending IWU makes some students at ISU believe that everyone at IWU is obscenely rich. However, contrary to this popular belief nobody at IWU pays for college in cash and almost all students at IWU get some kind of scholarship/financial aid package that makes the cost much more managable.
Joe: I'm at ISU, where are you going?
Scottie: I go to Illinois Wesleyan University.
Joe: Oh you must be really rich!
Scottie: And you must be an STD-infected chain-smoker.
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Justin: Where do you go to school?
Ashley: Indiana Wesleyan University.
Justin: Oh that’s trash. Actual trash.
A small liberal arts university in which most of the population are either theater nuts or music obsessed weirdos. At any given moment you can be walking down the "way to small campus" and see one of the ugliest people you've ever met. Everyone is vanilla, as plain as can be, and as soon as normal students step foot on campus, they immediately regret their decision for attending. 75% of the people attend because they enjoy the arts and sitting inside a dark room all day. The other 25% are athletes who had desires to play DI athletics but had to settle for the diminished IWU DIII competition. The Worst School in Illinois, and located in The Worst Town.
John- "Hey, Doesn't Zach attend Illinois Wesleyan University?"
Alicia- "Yeah of course. He says it was the worst choice of his life and he would rather be attacked by a Great White Shark!"
John- "Oh, well at least he's saving 20K for playing sports.."
Alicia- "Thats the only positive, that school literally sucks."
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A small, christian college in Marion, Indiana. Not the best surrounding town but good school.
I go to Indiana Wesleyan University!
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Justin: Did you hear about Indiana Wesleyan University basketball?
Ashley: No what happened?
Justin: They lost to Oregon Tech 107-93. Trash. Actual trash.
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A small-ass school that no one really cares about. People who go there are rich or in crippling debt. All the guys are either ugly or douchebags and all the girls are either ugly or frat rats. All of the student-athletes think they're the shit even though the school is D3. A wide range of intelligence is at Illinois Wesleyan: smart and poor people or rich and stupid people. Greek life is huge at Wesleyan. The sororities don't explicitly have beef with each other but every frat thinks they're top house (besides acacia who are we kidding). The most common phrase of frat boys at Wesleyan is "fuck (insert another frat here)". None of them have great reputations. People who aren't in Greek life or student-athletes are basically like adults who have gone back to college: focused on school work and think all other college students are fucking degenerates. If you go to Illinois Wesleyan you will complain about it 24/7 until you are forced to go home with your family and then you will remember that no adults/police on-campus give a fuck about what you do and you will miss it.
John: Hey I heard you go to some bullshit school called Illinois Wesleyan, what the fuck is that?
Sheila: Yeah you probably haven't heard about, but you can open carry alcohol, unlike at ISU where if you say vodka above whisper volume you'll get arrested.
John: Sweet let's party then
Sheila: okay looks like we're going to tke
Illinois Wesleyan University: the rich kid's shithole
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