Anal Recovery Day

Also known as ARD. Anal recovery day is when a sick or PTO day must be used to be absent from work or school due to having your anal region pummeled during sexual activity the evening prior. Time is needed to recover from the gape, tenderness and even the ability to walk straight again.

HR: Good Morning HR department.

Employee: Hi this is Rachel in Accounting. I’m going to need to take a sick day today so I won’t be in.

HR: Sorry to hear that. Feel better. Is it the flu that’s going around?
Employee: I wish. It’s an anal recovery day. My boyfriend hit it hard last night. I may have a fissure.

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