Asshole Widening

Retail slang: When you are at work (especially at a cashier position) and you get fucked (your asshole widened) by customer after customer, with no end in sight. This usually happens all at once because every customer needs to leave at the same fucking time I guess. It is not uncommon for dipshit customers to heckle you because they don’t have the intellect to understand that it being busy is not your fault.

Usually caused by short staffing or a bunch of uptight boomers coming in after church on Sunday morning.

1.
Me: Work tomorrow is going to be THE worst.

Friend: Why is that?

Me: Tomorrow is Superbowl Sunday, or as its also known as: My annual asshole widening.

2.

Me: I’m going to go to the bathroom real quick. We have been getting our assholes widened for 3 hours straight and I am about to piss my pants Amazon style.