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A small ass city in Michigan. Two hours away from Detroit. Where all there is to do there is get high and watch the pistons and the sorry ass Lions play. It also is known for Ceral. (Battle Creek is where most of your ceral, anything Kellogg or Post it comes from Battle Creek.) They are also known for The Worlds Longest Breakfest Table. Two words for ya FREE FOOD!!!!! Anyway its about 27% black,49% white,14% hispanic and 10% other. Its really a fucked up place!!!
TANYA: Gina lets stop in Battle Creek on our way to Detroit so i can say hi to my mother.
GINA: Is the Breakfest Table going on?
TANYA: I dont think so.
GINA: THEN HELL NAW!!!!!!!!
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Many of the local youth complain that there isn't much to do, but that's because they've seemed to have forgotten about the: three movie theaters; ice rink; water park; Beckley road franchise restaurants; shopping mall; downtown boutiques and local restaurants; local lakes and beaches; local parks; Leila Arboretum; etc.
The local youth may complain that Battle Creek is dull, but this is usually the case with any restless teenager in a small city such as Battle Creek, Jackson, etc.
Bri: There's like, literally nothing to do in Battle Creek. I hate it here. I want to move away forever and like live in Los Angeles or Chicago or New York City or something.
Matt: Do you want to go to the ice rink?
Bri: No.
Matt: See a movie?
Bri: No.
Matt: Eat at Buffalo Wild Wings?
Bri: No.
Matt: Go to the beach?
Bri: No.
Matt: Go to the mall?
Bri: No.
Matt: Well shit, maybe you should just move the fuck away so everyone else here can have a chance at happiness!
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Battle Creek is actually the 3rd biggest city in Michigan by land size coming in just a little smaller than GR. (Don't believe me, google it) It ain't shitz to do in the city club wise cause mf's always acting up but it's still all love and all family. So don't think you can come to the Creek and set up shop. Ask them Detroit and Chicago niccas. But for real it ain't all that bad to live or visit. It's a growing city so keep your eyes peeled.
Battle Creek, also known as Cereal City or the Creek, is home to some 50,000 residences.
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The cigarette smoking capital of America
“I’m going to Battle Creek, want a cigarette?”
A piss poor school that is practically living off of welfare and Kellogg funds. Good sports program but no one seems to graduate. Loses all their students to Lakeview because they were either expelled for fighting or bagged grass up and sold it as that bomber ass cheesecake kush. Practically 90% Blacks, 5% Thots, 5% White kids who mysteriously can say nigga.
“You wanna go to Battle Creek Central to watch the varsity game?”
“No Linda, remember we are fucking white”
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When one gives a blowjob while simultaneously inserting a percussion mallet into the anus.
"I thought I was getting a normal blowjob, but she got pretty kinky when she started giving me a Battle Creek Blowjob! That BITCH-ASS!!!!"
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Pouring milk and cereal into a women’s vagina and eat it with a spoon. Popularized in the “Cereal City” Battle Creek, Michigan
Yeah buddy, it was super early in the morning and I hadn’t ate breakfast so I gave Tammy the ‘ol Battle Creek Handshake.