butt calipers

A standard system of measurement for determining if a girls booty is in the correct size range. This is done by placing the tips of your thumbs together and pointing your pinkies straight out to determine if a females butt fits within that size range. This system of measurement can be misleading if you have been drinking and your calipers become more flexible leading to a morning of shame and self-loathing.

Situation 1:
Justin: "I was drinking too much last night and my butt calipers caused me to bring home a heffer."

Chris: "That's unfortunate, you should probably chalk this one up to a slump buster"

Situation 2:
Samer: "I saw this girl at the club last night and was so excited when she fit perfectly within my butt calipers. Unfortunately it turns out she was like sixty years old!"

Nick: "You still had sex with her didn't you?"

Samer: "You're focusing on all the wrong details."

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