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Me: Doctor! I think i'm constipated.
Doctor: What did you eat?
Me: Really nothing but i did shove flex tape up my ass.
Morgan Freeman: And the moral here is.. Don't shove flex tape up your ass
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When you're full of crap, and you don't give a shit
John was full of crap, but he couldn't shit, he was constipated
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Suppose you haven't taken a shit for a while and every time you go to the bathroom your poop does not budge because it is firmly stuck and rock hard. You strain yourself but still you cannot get the turd out and you tear your butt hole while you are crying and trying to push it out. This feeling of extreme pain and not being able to pass shit is constipation and one calls you "constipated".
Tom who was not being able to take a crap because the poop was extremely hard ,felt relieved after the doctor explained to him that he was constipated and recommended a suppository.
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When there is a huge log stuck in your butt hole, that you cannot remove no matter how hard you try. This is often caused by not consuming the seed full objects. This also may be a sign that you have Ebola.
*on the toilet calling friend* dude why is you so grumpy.
Cause I'm constipated
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Being really, really, really stupid or looking very silly.
Gawd, she's so constipated. Just look at the way she dresses and how she thinks that taxes are a medicine.
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The act of not being able to squeeze a terd out it is probably just as bad as having a baby, results in horrible cramps, possible infection, and even sometimes the need of having something stuck up your ass.
I once was extremely constipated and didnt poop for a week and nothing would work, no enemas, supositories, laxatives, nothing.... so what they did was bring me to the hospital, stuck a tube down my nose in to my stomach and pumped an unbelievable ammount of laaxative in to me... 4 liters. I shat for 12 hours and after all the poo was clear i shat water wow what a fun time.
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