calender-cock

when a person, usually male, divides his penis into 12 equal segments and labels them with the months of the year, starting with January at the tip. Each year that passes, the calender cock will be given a sacrificial virgin with a particularly tight minge. The calender cock must perform intercourse with said virgin once a day, thus gradually increasing the threshold for cock at the rate of 1 segment per month. some larger calender cocks can have the accuracy of weeks or in some extreme cases even to the day

Steve: Hey man, what month is it?

Delroy: I dunno lid ask the calender-cock innit

Steve: Hey Jauquim, what month is it?

Jauquim: September

Steve: Sweet!

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