Carpenters delight

Where a man masturbates using sandpaper rather that a bare hand. Usually results in a bloody mess and lots of shaven skin grated off the mans shaft.

I’m not fucking anytime soon, had a carpenters delight yesterday.

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Carpenter's delight

This is a "high school" term for a girl or woman who is flat as a board and easy to nail.

"Look at her. She's a reg'lar carpenter's delight."
"wuzzat?"
"Flat as a board an' easy to nail!"
"Huh huh huh!"