clam spanker

slang; 1.in reference to a person who involves themselves in the act of lightly hitting the vagina.

2.Any objective (animate or inanimate) that is used to lightly hit the vagina.

Last night I came home from work to find my wife of 60 years laying naked and spread-eagled on the bed. Towering over her was a strange man holding what appeared to be quite an impressive clam spanker.

I could only reply "HEY BITCH! Get out of my house and take this clam spanking son-of-a-bitch with you!"

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