Cockfrost

Noun.

1) The condition contracted by a man's penis subsequent to a prolonged duration of time during which coitus has been completely lacking. Said period of celibacy may be externally imposed (due to continual failure to get laid despite best efforts) or self-enforced (a deliberate abstention from sexual activity for various and unexplained reasons).

2) Noun used to describe a refusal of sex by a male to his partner, generally to punish said partner for perceived or actual wrongdoing. However, due to man's extreme inability to successfully refrain from sex when offered it, this condition is extremely rare indeed, and typically only lasts for a matter of minutes or hours before thawing occurs.

1): - "Hey, what's up with Matt? He's walking funny."
- "Yeah, the poor chap hasn't had his leg over in 8 months"
- "Shit, he must be suffering from some serious cockfrost"

"I've been sexually abstinent now for over a week and am beginning to experience the first clinical signs of cockfrost."

2): Sarah: "Come on Rob darling, I said I was sorry, please can we have make-up sex?"
Rob: "No Sarah, because of your inconsiderate transgression I shall now be withholding sex from you."
Sarah: (sighs) "I guess Rob has cockfrost again."

5 minutes later:

Rob: "Ok, consider yourself forgiven."

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cockfroster

n.

1. a person who ejaculates onto themselves
2. an inconsiderate slob, esp. with regard to gratisfaction mutual or individual

Frank didn't wash his saucepan and left it moldering in the sun for days, what a cockfroster.

cockfrosting

a term describing an event that has gone horribly wrong; the opposite of the phrase 'icing on the cake'.

Jack - "Oh no, looks like the condom broke!"
Jill - "COCKFROSTING!!"