CockSmocker

A CockSmocker is what you would refer to a friend of yours, who always has gross and stale sheets, towels, socks, lying around his room because he keeps jerking off into the smocks.

John: "yo Damien, why are all ya damn socks stiff???"
Gary: "its cuz he's a fucking cocksmocker, that's gross dude..."
Damien: "who are you guys? how'd you get into my house?!?!? HONEY HIDE THE KIDS!"
John: "you can hide them but you won't stop us damien" *pulls out gun*

*shots heard in the distance, muffled screaming*

Gary: "you kill the bitch and i'll bring the van 'round back"
John: "got it, why are we keeping the kids alive tho?"
Gary: "their grandparents are rich john, they'll do anything to get them back, including giving us all their retirement money"
John: "so why'd we kill Damien?"
Gary: "to show gran-gran that we're legit"

cocksmock

A contraception instrument similar to a diaphram in that it prevents sperm from impregnating the female.

"dude make sure shes got a cocksmock"

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