Courtice

Possibly the most boring town in Canada.
Located in southern Ontario.
Basically the landing zone for new parents,
If you're going to Durham, good luck getting out of courtice.
Courtice has zero identity, and is full of Hollister/Abercrombie wearing tools.
If you want to have kids and ruin their lives, Courtice is the place to go!

1.
"Where you from?"
"Oshawa"
"Ohh.. really?"
"No, but for christ sakes at least oshawa stuff to do"

2. (GUARANTEE ANSWER)
"Where you from?
"Uhhh, this town called courtice.."
"Never heard of it"
"you know oshawa, you know bowmanville"
"yeah"
"yeah we're that space in between"

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COURTICE

also known as hicktown, hickville, and bumfuck, its the most unknown town in Ontario, or quite possible Canada.
other than Leamington.

a suburban community located in Ontario, Canada settled 60 km east of Toronto, adjacent to Oshawa (where most of the crack in Ontario comes from, also known as the Shwa), and west of Bowmanville.

mostly consists of elementary schools:
EMILY STOWE
LYDIA TRULLS
G.J. MACGILLIVRAY
COURTICE NORTH
COURTICE SOUTH
MOTHER TERESA (catholic)
GOOD SHEPHERD (catholic)

and two high schools:
COURTICE SECONDARY
HOLY TRINITY (catholic)

this towns pretty gay.
we all go to Oshawa for shopping at the Oshawa Centre.
But we call it the OC to make us feel better about our lame lives.
the closest movie theatre is in bowmanville.
either that or you can go to the AMC in Whitby and at least it makes it worth your trip.
dont move here if you dont want people to know you're going out with your best friends brother.

ACTUAL CONVERSATION.
--
sean: hey
KAYTIE: helloo.
sean: whats up
KAYTIE: nothing, you?
sean: chillin on my non hick town
sean: im sorry but courtice is too easy to make fun of
KAYTIE: not really
sean: ya it is cuz its so small and insignificant
KAYTIE: its so small and awesome
sean: the shwa is crazy
sean?: i guess ive just always lived in the city
KAYTIE: i was born in toronto, but that doesnt change anything
sean: toronto is the greatest
KAYTIE: it is
sean: courtice sucks, toronto has way more to do
KAYTIE: i actually agree to that.
sean: but i went trick or treating in pickering at my grandmas house to be safe
sean: but pickering is turning ghetto now too
KAYTIE: i never liked pickering
KAYTIE: or bowmanville
sean: bowmanville is better then courtice
KAYTIE: no way
sean: they have the duck race :)
KAYTIE: AWESOME
KAYTIE: okay we're going to a duck race together, and i dont care what you say.
sean: lmao

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Courtice Secondary School

Want some weed?
WELL YOU’RE AT THE RIGHT SCHOOL.

Welcome to Courtice Secondary, home of the drug table, the D&D club and the highest population of gender fluid drama kids in Canada.

We here at CSS have the highest number of obese teachers, peeling walls and our very Master Oogway wannabe that “teaches” us what he calls “music”. Our girls are notorious for trading their nudes for drugs and not showing up to class for months, while our boys are known for their excellent drug deals and need for childish rebellion.

People also won’t stop pissing in the vape room, which is called “The Bathroom” by staff and teachers, for some reason.

Some synonyms for this school include: The Gargantuas Gay, The Quantam Queer, The Rambunctious Riis, the Screeching Special Needs

Me: *Goes to CSS*
Also me: RIIIIIIII

Jarquisse: Wagwan shordy, you trynna send?
Thotianna: You trynna chop?
Jarquisse: Yeye, send dat
Thotianna: Bet, meet me at Courtice Secondary School tmrw
Jarquisse: Bet

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