crystal bitch

When a girl talks way too much about horoscopes and crystal energy.
This person is commonly agreed upon as the stupidest and simultaneously most fun member of her friend group often times making decisions based upon the universes state at any given time.

Person1: “My ex is my twin flame and even our moon signs match. I KNOW we are getting back together in 5 years.”
Person1: “...Stephanie, stop being such a crystal bitch.”

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healing crystal bitch

A healing crystal bitch is that annoying female that we all know who wants to be a hippie and takes it to a different level of extreme. Typically they will claim to be from some other dimension, consider themselves "spiritual", talk about their "3rd eye", throw around tarot cards without warning, and you guessed it, carry around healing crystals. They consider consuming marijuana and psychedelics some kind of spiritual journey and believe that their hallucinations are sacred. A healing crystal bitch will also turn into Jeffery Dahmer if her cat dislikes you.

Friend 1: Dude look at this girl on my tinder stack. Should I swipe right?

Friend 2: Hell no dude! Look at her profile, she seems like one of those healing crystal bitches.

Friend 1: Damn you right homie.

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