Random
Source Code
Random
A unit of measurement in Cuil Theory for the level of abstraction away from the reality of a situation. It was created to lampoon the terrible search engine capabilities of the Cuil search engine, while providing a functionally stimulating idea about the interrelationship between tangential things.
The Cuil is represented by the interrobang: ‽\
For further reading, search for "Cuil Theory".
You ask me for a Hamburger.
1 Cuil: if you asked me for a hamburger, and I gave you a raccoon.
2 Cuils: If you asked me for a hamburger, but it turns out I don't really exist. Where I was originally standing, a picture of a hamburger rests on the ground.
3 Cuils: You awake as a hamburger. You start screaming only to have special sauce fly from your lips. The world is in sepia.
etc...
189👍 39👎
Cuil is a new search engine which at the time of writing this indexed 121,617,892,992 web pages. It claims to search more web pages than anyone else. It is an Irish website and orders pages by relevance rather than hits so the search results are pretty shit and you never find what you want. It is notorious for portraying porn in place of a websites logo.
John: Have you tried searcing the web using Cuil?
Jade: Yes, I got shit results from sites which had nothing to do with what I was looking for.
15👍 5👎
cuil
verb:
To look for something, but to never find it, as with the search engine 'Cuil' (see below). 'John cuiled for the meaning of life other than 42'.
noun:
A search engine which gets everything wrong. 'Bob searched for "Cuil" on Cuil, but he found nothing.'
adj:
The opposite of "cool": lame, a failure.
After cuiling for a bit, the man came to the conclusion that he did not exist.
Guy 1: <inaccuracy>
Guy 2: Where the hell did you get that from? Have you been going on Cuil again?
He tried to do research, but instead he found some cuil gay porn.
27👍 14👎
Cuil, pronounced 'cool' is a good way to describe something someone else has made that they think is blisteringly fantastic, but in reality does not work at all and would probably be better off not existing at all.
The term comes from the search engine Cuil designed by ex-Google employees, which frankly fails to do anything other then epically failing.
Two of my friends died trying to use cuil.
Cuil may not be able to search the interwebs, but can it run Crysis?
43👍 36👎
A garbage wannabe Google search engine. Former Google employees made it to beat Google, but they did a shitty job.
"Hey, have you seen Cuil?"
"What? Quill? Quail? Cool? how do you say that?"
"Nevermind."
12👍 9👎
To look for something, but to never find it.
'John cuiled for the meaning of life other than 42'.
5👍 3👎
1) An Internet search engine known for inadvertently, and often with great comic effect, associating results with mismatched photographs.
2) Generic name for a company that is able to get a great deal of press coverage, but unable to deliver any good products or service. Similar to the term paper tiger but with hype instead of ferocity.
3) Generic term for a company that seems to encourage lawsuits due to poor or naive business practices. In this case, referencing the fact that the term's origin was an Internet company -- a search engine placed an image next to every search result -- often associating a company's copyrighted image with a competitor's website.
Notes: The term is pronounced kooo-ul or simply cool, but often is accompanied with a slight, swift, twirling finger point. The finger point is a subtle reference to the fact that the original etymology stems from a .com website with a similar name.
Mike: That new seafood restaurant totally pulled a cuil (accentuated with a circular wave of and pointing of his finger).
Steve: You mean like seeming like it was going to be good but actually sucking?
Mike: Well yes, it looked like it was going to be great, but inside it was totally weird. Black walls, blacklight lighting, and an overall bizarre color scheme. No, but the main thing is that they forgot to add a bathroom and instead just have a bucket in the corner of the dining room.
Steve: A bucket?
Mike: Yes, an actual bucket. Oh, and a roll of toilet paper sitting on the floor next to it. It was gross and strangely compelling to see a hairy, 215 lbs woman laying cable as I ate my Parrot Bay Jumbo Coconut Shrimp. She was really pushing hard too. Amazing balance though.
Steve: They are idiots. That is so gross and awesome. Overhyped and a lawsuit magnet. Double cuil! PS- Did you get that chick's number?
4👍 5👎