dickritic

a piece o' shite critic who interferes hwence interference is not called for.

OR

a hand puppy for virgins.

"Nice pants, faggot"
"Quit being a dickritic and get back to shaving your nether-back, you piece 'o critic"

"Terrence"
"Yes Philip"
"What's that critic on your lap?"
"Oh, that's my dickritic"