"Did you screw my duck?" is what to say if you're walking through a park and see someone person screwing a duck.
A good follow up is to demand $50, and make them think they're getting off lightly.
Spencer saw Doofus screwing a duck by the duck pond, and said "Did you screw my duck?"
"Yes," whimpered Doofus.
"You know the drill," said Spencer sternly.
Doofus handed over $50 and scampered away, soiling himself lightly as he ran.
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