Doing a John

Saying you can come to an event and then cancelling at the last minute.

1. Sorry guys, I'm afraid I'll be doing a John tonight.

Also acceptable:
2. Imma have to John it tonight.
3. That girl I was interested in did a John. Now I cry myself to sleep.

Doing a John

Entering a public toilet and using the facilities improperly; often involves leaving faeces in the toilet bowl without initiating the flush mechanism.

"See that bloke over there, the one with a newspaper, he is doing a John."

"Dirty bastard"

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Doing a John

Lusting after a young girl with the intention of postponing a sexual proposition for an undetermined number of years.

Often the perpetrator will announce the number of years he intends to wait in a grumbled tone.

So my little sister just started junior school. Yeah, she is doing really well, better than I was at that age. Hey John, I won't be in lesson because I've got to go and pick her up at three.

Four more years...

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Doing a john

to unexplainably lose all your money in five hands of poker

'Damnit five hands and im all out!'
'shut yo jibba jabber and stop doing a john!'
*crys then begins to masterbate*

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Doing the John Fetterman

The act of wearing a heavy top (such as a hoodie or coat) paired with shorts, much like Senator John Fetterman does out of uniform.

Jon: When I was leaving her house, it was colder but I was still wearing shorts. So I threw on a hoodie and started doing the John Fetterman

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Doing a John McCarthy

Going into a store with a huge jacket, then whilst facing away from the cashier starting to in a really sensual way touch all the candy and putting your hands down your pocket smoothly.

is usually done when on ones phone

Damn nigger cashier thought i was stealing and punched me in the face and balls. Guess i was doing a John McCarthy

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Let's do a John

when you just want to do fuckall so you avoid work at all cost

- "Let's do a John" - said my coworker
- "I've been fired for that." - thats me.