doucherectomy

When one attempts to reinvent oneself in the hope of excising or removing one's douche-like qualities

Chris: Mike is such a shitpile. I can't handle it anymore.

Kevin: I don't know, he'd probably say that's 'subjectable'
Chris: How can he? He's a useless twat lip
Kevin: He might not be so bad if he got a doucherectomy
Chris: There's no help for him