family friend

A person whom your parents know, from that job they had back in the day, whom they've never quite been able to shake off. This person will continually reappear at social gatherings involving other family friends, who all seem to just orbit around the periphery of your parents' lives for years and years, like a fly buzzing around your head that simply won't die.

Despite the ever-repetitive "look how tall you've gotten!"s and "I haven't seen you in ten years!"s from these strangers, you are required by unwritten social code to treat these people as if they were at least close enough to be a creepy uncle.

Mom: Our family friend Carl is coming to the barbecue on Saturday.
You: Who?
Mom: Oh you know, that guy I worked with 50 years ago, and we just happened to keep in touch. You've met him, he saw your birthing, remember?
You: ...

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Family friend

A family who your parents know and they try to force you to be friends with their kids, eventually getting married to their daughters/sons

Mom: son, we have to visit our family friend today, go pack your stuff
Son: ok mom.

35👍 7👎

family & friends discount

a discount you typically give your family and or friends when they ring up thru your register. most people ask for this discount even if they dont know you to save some money.

paprika: girl, guess how much i paid for these new kanye west kicks!
refrescola: how much girl?
paprika: $175
refrescola: aint they be $300
paprika: yeah, but i got a family & friends discount.

3👍 5👎

Friend Families

Knowing more than one friend w/ the same name, but they don't know each other because they are from different stereotype cliques.

xallix: geeze, how many allisons do u know?
XMichealX: ummmmm...3?
xallix:damn. i know 6 mikes
XMichealX: ...ouch
xallix: yupp. it's easy to keep them straight tho. they're all from different friend families, so they don't know each other

3👍 1👎

Friends & Family Plan

When your sister/brother in law is not being sexually satisfied by their spouse or significant other and want to hook up with you and keep it undercover & within the family.

John: My sister in law told me she is starving for some dick. Said Bill doesn’t do it for her anymore.

Joe: Sounds like she is trying to get on the friends & family plan with you.

Family friend

A wealthy married dude that hangs out with your mom and pays her bills and buys you your Christmas presents. Meanwhile, she’s giving him handjobs on days when she is “working late in the city”.

Uncle Alan, our family friend, paid for my tuition.

Family and Friends

A paperback schoolbook used in Vietnamese primary schools that is a very useful tool for teaching English. The content itself is fairly useless but when the students misbehave in class, you can roll up a copy and hit them with it.

If you call me a bidet one more time I will beat you with this copy of Family and Friends.

Ngoc is my enforcer. When someone misbehaves I give her the nod and she puts the misbehaving student in check with a rolled up copy of Family and Friends. As you can see, I have great classroom management skills.