favor miser

One who always says "can you do me a favor?" "Hey can you pass me that over there? Well you're close to it." But, when asked to do a favor, they gotta pee, cook or look for their reefer.

symbalta:
"Hey cleofus, please bring me the avocado mask from the garage, since you're on the 3rd floor you are closer"

Cleofus:
"Sure let me stop my home dialysis, to get that for ya you freakin favor miser"

miser"