Flatware

Furniture in a box. Made of sawdust and requiring assembly.

The furniture starts out flat. Once assembled it takes on the aspect of real furniture.

People who buy this junk are too stupid to read classifieds and buy real furniture.

Stores that sell Flatware include Walmart, Target, and that WTF store IKEA.

"Hey Clem, lets got to IKEA and get us some meatballs and flatware".
"OK Billy Bob, I'll bring the wrenches."

"Wow!" "Is that flatware?"
"Yep, check out the wood-like finish made possible by the use of contact paper."

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Flatwaring

A sexual position used in a gay orgy. When all men lay one on top of another, like plates in a cabinet.

"Wow, that flatwaring party we went to made me cum so hard!"

flatware flipper

A person who has the annoying tendency to flip their fork or spoon while still in their mouth after taking a bite of food

"Hey Rebecca, how was that new Thai restaurant on 37th?"

"I couldn't tell ya, Jake, I spent the whole time staring down the flatware flipper in the booth across from us."