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The greatest fucking invention man has ever made or thought of! It is undoubtedly the furthest we, as homosapiens, have come and it is possibly going to revolutionise this world.
It can solve any problem (not including your love life but still shown to have better results than placebo)
It's basically ductape but 10000% more badass and it's black so you know it'll be fun to play with
*Man finds leak in house*: oh, whatever shall I do?
*tv turns on and Phil Swift is shown*: TO SHOW THE ALMIGHTY POWER OF FLEX TAPE I'M GONNA SAW THIS BOAT IN HALF *proceeds to cut the boat into two*
Man: the God's have answered my call
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Basically God, if you haven’t already heard of this stuff, climb out from under that boat that was sawed in half and put back together and go get some!
Flex Tape does basically anything you can think of!
Bee Hive on your gutter? BOOM! Flex Tape!
Want to stop peeing the bed? BOOM! Flex Tape! (Have fun getting that shit off)
Professional Waxing too expensive? BOOM! Flex Tape!
Significant other or other person won’t shut up? BOOM! Flex Tape
“I sawed this boat in half, and repaired it using only Flex Tape!”~ Phil Swift
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The creator and the destroyer of worlds
FLEX TAPE REPAIRS BOATS DESTROYED BY THE MIGHTY PHIL SWIFT
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A type of adhesive tape meant to be water and weather resistant. Well known by an infomercial hosted by Phil Swift.
"To show you the power of Flex Tape, I sawed this boat in half!"
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1; An as-seen-on-tv tape product, claiming to be able to fix any crack, hole, leak, or thing in general. It can also be used to seal up the bottle because Grandpa's been hitting it too hard.
2; Jesus
3; A worldwide phenomenon started by youtuber Jontron, where he answers the question: What is flex tape? He explains, through strenuous research, that flex tape is, in fact, a holy product that can fix anything, even stopping your IV or blood bag from leaking onto your computer.
1; "Just to prove the power of Flex Tape, I sawed this boat in half,"
2; "Going to church on Sunday to pray to Flex Tape."
3; "This is Josephi Krakowski, here with Flex Tape,"
"100% Improved Product,"
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Fixes everything. Even a boat.
“I just used some flex tape to fix a hole in my heart.”
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