Fuck Bumper

Spare Tire, Beer Gut or Muffin Top grown specifically to save your partner from trauma during intercourse. Can be ambi-sextrous.

Dude 1: "Bro? That's quite the belly you're getting on you."

Dude 2: "Aww this? That's my fuck bumper. The wife was complaining of pain in her spleen. I figured I better add some cushion to my pushin'"

-Alt.
Girl 1: Hey girl? Are those new Jeggings?
Girl 2: I've had these jeans for 5 years! But I have to tell you.. My spleen's been hurtin' so much that I had to grow out my Fuck Bumper a bit. My new guy has a real Thigh Slapper on him.

16👍 2👎

fuck bumper

The fuck bumper is the rounded fatty tissue above a woman's vagina on top of the pubic bone. It is technically called the mons pubis or pubic mound in Latin. It is also called the mons or the Hopkins.

"Dude, she had a soft fuck bumper. There was plenty of cushion for the pushin'."

"Check out the Hopkins on her."

4👍 2👎

bumper fuck

1. Using your hoopdie to forcefully ram your hated foe into the intersection during a red light.

2. An epic rear-end collision, accidental or intentional.

(1.) Passenger: "Dude, that guy totally cut you off!"
Driver: "Looks like someone needs a good bumper fuck."

(2.) 911: "911 state your emergency."
You: "I just got bumper fucked by some drunken asshole! And he's dressed like a pirate."
911: "Excuse me...?"

19👍 7👎

bumper fucking

Driving so close to the car in front of you that if the front of ur car had a penis it would go to town on the bumper of the car in front of you

Hanna: my back bumper is all fucked up because some asshole on 95 was bumper fucking me
Hannah: why are we friends