gasplosion

When you have every sign that your bowels are full beyond capacity and a major shit needs to be taken, but upon parking your ass on the commode and easing the tension on your blowhole, all that comes out is 100psi of fecal flavored gas. No poop. Not even an M&M. Just enough methane to heat an igloo for the winter.

Me: Ah oh, I need to find a toilet immediately!
You: There’s a bathroom over there.
Me: <running for my life >
You: I hope he doesn’t make it.
Also you: Well, that was fast.
Me: Yep, it was only a gasplosion.
Also me: The velocity of brown wind made the fucking toilet flush itself!