Gay fringe

Typically an emo hairstyle, gay fringes are lengthy, thick pieces of hair that dangle over one, or sometimes both, of any given emo's eyes. Gay fringes can vary in length, colour and style, however their length is usually somewhere between eye level and chin level, regardless of the length of the rest of the emo's hair. Their style is usually just ‘the flop’, as most emos are too depressed to do anything else with their hair, which explains why you could fry chips on most emos’ hair. Gay fringes are chiefly black, but can be dyed all sorts of exotic colours to convey the given emo's 'creativity'. Some emos even like to put accessories on their gay fringes, in order to 'jazz them up', if you will. Such additions include, but are not limited to: sequins, stickers, safety pins, glue, jelly babies and badges. Some 'rebel' emos even pierce their gay fringe and go about decorating it that way. Many emos also like to gel their gay fringe so that it sticks to their face, therefore causing them to lose 40-60% of their visual field, contract conjunctivitis and develop acne, which causes the emo to want to cover even more of their face. As you can see, this will continue in a vicious circle until the entire face of the emo is shrouded by hair.

Gay fringes are nearly always straight, because this way they flop into the emo's eyes easier and look more 'scene'...And of course, most emos wear their gay fringe straight; remember, emos are so non-conformist that they all look exactly like each other! It may also be worth noting that gay fringes are unisex, although due to the fact that all emo girls and guys look the same anyway, this isn’t really an issue. Another important factor pertaining to gay fringes is that they all have a common denominator: they look gay. Whether this is because most emos ARE actually gay/ bisexual/ pansexual/ asexual/ lesbian/ vegetarian, and they are trying to illustrate this through their homosexual haircuts remains to be seen...

Regrettably, gay fringes are a growing trend. In order to attempt to control this homo-friendly-fringe pandemic (and in order for you to maintain any of your dignity), it would be advisable for you to refrain from getting your fringe gayed-up, no matter how tempting it may seem.

Finally, a word of advice: if someone you know has acquired this sickening hairstyle that we call a gay fringe (or a variation of), give them some acne cream and some eye drops; warn them about the transmission of Human Immunodeficiency Virus; burn their My Chemical Romance Cds and confiscate their razor.

"Dude, I'm, like, sooo depressed."
"Really? Me too, I just, like, got my fringe cut."
"Gee dude, that's, like, terrible."
"Yeah, my life feels, like, so empty now that I can, like, see again, dude."
"I, like, totally know what you mean, dude. I got my fringe, like, pierced today-"
"Whoa, that's really, like, deep and profound, dude."
"Yeah, but then the jelly baby earring, like, fell out. It was like my soul fell out in my hand. My life's, like, this eternal labyrinth of anguish."
"I have, like, no purpose. I'm gonna go, like, slit my wrists and then dye my gay fringe red with the blood."
"I'll go with you."

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