Giving Gum

Something you offer as a peace offering when you're being yelled at by some cobwebbed band mom. Can also be given when you've just told a long time girl friend that she probably contracted syphilis. Results may vary, but death may occur.

1.
Lady: "You need to be more respectful!!!!"
Brad: "Okay, okay... *reaches in pocket* GUM???"
Lady: *absolutely speechless*
Brad: *runs away to literally die laughing*

2.
Brad: "Yeah, Jill's not gonna be too happy when she finds out what I done did..."
Ted: "Giving Gum."
Brad: "What?"
Ted: "Yeah, works like a charm."

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Giving Gum

To eat that pussy

Catch me giving gum to that bitch

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gum giving laws

The gum giving laws are the laws on who you can or cannot give gum to. The reasons you cannot give someone a piece of gum are as follows:

If they are named Addison,
If they put a dent in your wall,
If they cried on your pillow,
And if they previously tried to steal your gum

The gum giving laws were created by Pope John XII and are now in effect in every country even Singapore where gum is banned