go ugly early

During prohibition this was a phrase used by Harry's Chocolate Shop, a Bar in West Lafayette, IN which called itself a chocolate shop to avoid being known as a bar. Their slogan "Go Ugly Early" was the opposite of its real meaning "come pretty late"

Hey are you going to the bar tonight?
Yeah, go ugly early!

278👍 78👎

go ugly early

The act of admitting to oneself that you will not pull a good looking bird not matter how long you hang around the night club. You always end up taking the ugliest bird anyway, so why not just go ugly early and get it over with.

It was only half past ten when Steven left the club with a salad dodger on his arm. His friend Jim passed him in the carpark and remarked "Eh up Steve, going ugly early?". Steven sighed, glanced at the fugly minger, and replied "Fraid so Jim, got work in the morning, so I don't have all night"

177👍 70👎

go ugly early

The philosophical viewpoint which advocates the lowering of standards earlier in the process of courtship rather than later, believing it to be more efficient and ultimately more satisfying in the long run. While some see this as a disturbingly bleak prospect, proponents remind their detractors that "at least we're getting our jimmies waxed while you poor bastards are off beating your pud to Shirley Bassey records."

Trust me, dude, GO UGLY EARLY, or you'll die alone with your pants around your ankles, clutching your shriveled penis in your cold, dead hand with a look of stark terror on your face, frozen in time from the moment that the gray void invades your soul and stops your spitting heart.

68👍 31👎

Go ugly early

US military infantry phrase for calling in close air support as early as possible during an offensive operation. The A-10 wart hog and C-130 Sceptre gunship are not pretty looking aircraft, but are most welcome when pinned down by enemy fire.

Captain, you'll be encountering heavy resistance when we attack that position. You better go ugly early.

9👍 3👎