guarantee

A word that we commonly use that is one of the hardest words out of the dictionary to spell correctly. Most people just use spell check to fix it, but without it spelling this word right is frustrating. A straight pain in the ass.

BEFORE: Therefore I gaurentee that the facts support my thesis.

F**K I never spell this word right, thank God for spell check.

After: Therefore I guarantee that the facts support my thesis.

Ah, there we go maybe I'll spell it right next time.

41👍 23👎

guarantee

I used to be very stuck up, uptight, verklempt
Until i discovered Mega Joshy 3000 Alpha Plus
Now I can actually lay down naked and relaxed with the lights on
If I can do it
You can do it too
Try Mega Joshy 3000 Alpha Plus
And become the person you always longed to be
Mega
Joshy
3000
Alpha

Plus

Now with a 30 day guarantee

3👍 1👎

guarantee

A guarantee is the inverse of trust.

Rhys Muldoon: "I trust Amanda Vanstone. If I left her alone in a room with a bucket of fried chicken, I'd trust her to eat it up. I'd also trust her to then launch a national inquiry into who ate the chicken."

14👍 19👎

guaranteed

A term incredibly overused in advertising.

"OMFG!!! SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!!!!!!1!1!11111!!one"

27👍 6👎

guaranteed

When you agree with something, Think something is good, see a attractive female

"ooohhh blaitenly guaranteed"

"shes guaranteed"

"Mate, That maccy d's was guaranteed mate"

14👍 5👎

Ryan Guarantee

Term used to describe something that is almost guaranteed to happen.

A Ryan guarantee is worth 90% of an actual guarantee

I give you a Ryan guarantee that I wont drink too much tonight

Fraud Guarantee

A super stupid name for a technology firm that is supposedly set up to protect its customers from being defrauded but may be the direct connection with the savvy fraudsters themselves.

Let’s just say that when I found Fraud Guarantee I was entirely solvent but after doing business with Mr. Parnas for about a year, I was living in my car.