h school

Could be high school, but also is husband's school, where men learn the fine art of pleasing women and leaving the toilet seat in a righteous position.

Husbands in remote Kreplachistan still attend "Poosiwippauniversitaat" or "School for Husbands." It's as mandatory before a Kreplachi wedding as a prenup in Beverly Hills.

Potential husbands learn important skills like taking out the trash, mowing the lawn without prompting, cleaning up after the goats in the yard, running errands and putting down the toilet seat.

"It is a difficult habit to break if your mother did not teach you, as a young boy, to do this," remarks Hayseed Fuzzlov, one of the students who hoped he would marry well as a result of his studies. "I always use the toilet with the seat down," confides the more savvy Fabian Goatchek. "My mother trained me well."

It is said that the best brides will reject any proposal from a potential husband who doesn't possess the distinctive diploma, a whip crossed with a rolling pin tatooed on a tanned cat skin. "I wouldn't want a woman who didn't want me to have this schooling," remarks Igo Bonkers, a young man with a flourishing mustache, traditional in this mountainous land and useful for straining the bugs and leaves out of the strong Kreplachi tea "She would be a kind of a slut if she didn't." Unfortunately, after he uttered the Kreplachi word for "slut", three Amazons charged out of the bushes and clubbed him senseless with rolling pins. Such words are beneath the classically trained male students, and violations of the rules are judged harshly.

Advanced studies in diaper changing, doing dishes without breakage, foot-rubbing and finding gainful employment are available for those who really are serious about a good marriage, and remedial courses are typically completely booked months in advanced.

The final exam is said to be very tough: "They might ask you something difficult like 'Does this dress make me look fat' and you'd better have the right answer. You could die right on the spot if you get it wrong" Bonkers tells the reporter.

Last year eight men didn't make it through the course. But even their mothers weren't terribly sorry. "They just didn't learn. Not that we didn't try." remarked one mother, whose late son was a notable dunce. "He deserved what he got."

79👍 73👎

Roy H. Park School of Communications

One of the most prestigious communications schools in the world. Home of the longest running college television station, ICTV. Home of the best college radio station in the nation--WICB (also the winner of an MTV Woodie award).

Often referred to as the Park School, students (known as Parkies) are some of the most artistic, diligent, intelligent, and creative students on campus.

Graduates have gone on to positions at ESPN, CNN, NBC News, CBS, ABC, The New York Times, NPR and more. The school offers majors in television-radio, journalism, marketing, communication management, film, photography, visual arts, cinema and photography.

The school is split into six core departments: Cinema, Photography, and Media Arts; Journalism; Strategic Communications; Television-Radio; Technical Operations; and the Communications Program in Los Angeles.

Guy 1: I'm going to Ithaca!
Guy 2: Why?
Guy 1: Because we have an amazing communications school which wins numerous awards every year! I'm totally going to have an amazing internship junior/senior year and get an amazing job when I graduate. Roy H. Park School of Communications has the biggest alumni network ever!

40👍 22👎

henry h filer middle school

A really bad middle school that shouldn’t exist at all. The teachers and principal really suck and most of the teachers speak spanish.

Guy: hey, what middle school do you go to?
Girl; henry h filer middle school
Guy: ....
Guy: oh.

6👍 1👎