hard-arse

A person who rigorously enforces set standards, rules, contracts etc. without displaying the level of leniency that social norms would suggest.

"I had to be a hard-arsed, unforgiving task master, which showed a completely different side of me," said Moss of his role

(From Wikipedia article on Colin Moss)

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fuck me hard up the arse with a stick

A statement that is said in the event of utter disbelief, or in shock, awe, etc.

Dave: "Alex, did you know that we're all going to die in three seconds?"
Alex: "Fuck me hard up the arse with a stick!"

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