healing crystal

A crystal that actually used to heal the user back in the days when Faeries roamed the earth. Now used by New Agers that think it still works in modern times.

Naddavitch:"I've had the runs since August 2000. Got anything that could help me?"
Enya:"Here, try my healing crystal."

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healing crystal

stone like object commonly used by bullshitters. the crystal is waived over the body of a gullible woman in order to gain trust and ultimately sexual access.
see glastonbury

get your healing crystal out ken shes as thick as shit

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healing crystal bitch

A healing crystal bitch is that annoying female that we all know who wants to be a hippie and takes it to a different level of extreme. Typically they will claim to be from some other dimension, consider themselves "spiritual", talk about their "3rd eye", throw around tarot cards without warning, and you guessed it, carry around healing crystals. They consider consuming marijuana and psychedelics some kind of spiritual journey and believe that their hallucinations are sacred. A healing crystal bitch will also turn into Jeffery Dahmer if her cat dislikes you.

Friend 1: Dude look at this girl on my tinder stack. Should I swipe right?

Friend 2: Hell no dude! Look at her profile, she seems like one of those healing crystal bitches.

Friend 1: Damn you right homie.

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