Homeschool wedding night

When both you and your spouse were homeschooled and just got married, but you literally have no idea what to do on your wedding night because your fundamentalist pastor preached how bad sex was at least once a month. Usually, homeschool wedding nights involve the couple awkwardly sitting on the opposite sides of the bed in homeschool attire (men wear plaid button-down shirts and jeans; the women wear plain dresses) while nervously glancing at each other. Eventually, usually the husband, reaches over and pokes the wife on the shoulder, making her so nervous that she runs out of the room.

"Dude, did you see that Titus and Louise just got married?"
"Yeah man, I bet that was a hilarious homeschool wedding night!"