ingendiary

in·gen·di·ar·y
/inˈjendēˌerē/

noun., The explosive assault of someone wanting you to define your gender, usually in a case where one is unwilling, unable, afraid, or incapable of having such a discussion. Akin to asking someone "Where are you from?"

adjective

(of a request or introduction mechanism) designed to highlight gender and use of gender pronouns, specifically on the unwilling or unable.

"incendiary request to name preferred gender pronouns"

synonyms: confrontational, overly inquisitive, accusatory, inflammatory, rabble-rousing, provocative, agitational, subversive, revolutionary, insurrectionary, insurrectionist;

"ingendiary rhetoric"

"her ingendiary speech provoked a non-binary riot"

antonyms: conciliatory

noun

an ingendiary device.

"an introduction loaded with ingendiaries"

a person who starts a confrontation, specifically in a gender context; a person who stirs up conflict.

"ingendiaries derailed the conference"

As I sat in the meeting eagerly awaiting a discussion on race and bias, I was thrown an ingendiary to define myself using my preferred gender pronouns.