jquery

A javascript library inferior to the ASP.Net AJAX libraries in every way.

Seriously, Matt, don't use jQuery. Ever.

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jquery

A FAR superior JavaScript framework that makes ASP.NET AJAX and its proponents feel like little bitches.

Tom, WTF is the matter with you?! Use jQuery or DIE....bitch!

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jQuery

When somebody plays air guitar while wearing a cock ring.

"What the hell? Nathan is wearing a cock ring and playing air guitar to afrojack."
"Oh, he's just doing the jQuery"

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jQuery

A JavaScript framework that is easy to use but extremely difficult to master. You must demonstrate true programming prowess to achieve the prestigious "Top 5%" badge on LinkedIn's jQuery certification test. Beta JavaScript developers avert their eye in awe of the greatness radiating off these gifted individuals.

Brad: I scored in the top 5% of all users who took the jQuery test on LinkedIn.
Everyone: We are not worthy. *Averts eyes*

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jQuery

A javascript library written by John Resig. Its intent is to make DOM querying and manipulation easier. It removes the pain of cross-browser compatibility issues.

var myspan = $("#myspan"); //using jQuery

instead of,

var myspan = document.getElementById("myspan"); //standard and drawn out way

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