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A person of the male gender who is so ridiculously/ extremely hot/ handsome/ good looking that he can make any female wet just by looking at her. Jonnos are known the world over for having the biggest schlongs on average by at least a meter to their closest rivals. Their dongs commonly go by the name of "Russell The One-Eyed Wonder Muscle or Borris The Fur Faced Chicken." They generally have a wingman starting with the letter "B" who is mostly a massive mong with an elfish appearance. Jonnos live for DA BOIZ and follow the rules of "The Bro Code" by the book. You think you're hot?... you obviously haven't met a Jonno yet. They are built like a God and would make Jesus himself cream his pants. They have the rare ability to turn lesbians straight, so watch out Rebecca Black. Jonnos are renowned for their lewse getting abilities and just generally ripping the shit up out of any d-floor which is graced by their presence. Some say that Jonnos are as a whole the greatest football players on the planet, so Ronaldo, Messi and Nico get fucked.
Blake: "Fuck Jonno's a lewse cannon."
Nico: "I know brah and have you seen his dong?"
Huss: "Have you seen my fucking pies?"
Nico: "STFU and answer my question..."
Huss: Nah i haven't seen his knob but word on the street is it's longer than the street..."
Blake " I heard it's named Russell the one-eyed wonder muscle?"
Nico: "I heard it was called Borris the fur-faced chicken?"
Huss: "I couldn't care less i just want a fucking pie with some tomatie sauce!"?
70👍 16👎
A person which is extremely cool but is still nice on the inside.
"hey man, you're a jonno, thanks"
"cant you just be a jonno for once"
82👍 24👎
When someone is extremely scared or feels uncomfortable around gay people, not because they are homophobic, but because they are scared of catching the 'gay'. This is a very serious illness and should be taken seriously.
Some symptoms for this is when a 'jonno' see's a gooch, said 'jonno' will cringe and probably punch it. Hard. Also known as the gooch smooch.
You see that guy over there? He's a right Jonno, only plays with fanny also.
5👍 6👎
To drink so much that the night before doesn't exist to you.
Random|says= omg Jacob, you had sex with 3 different people in 2 hours
Jacob|says= Yep, I did a Jonno
26👍 1👎
When your time is so screwed up you think time stands still, thinking you have only been 5mins to go to the shops but really 5 weeks have gone by...
"im around the corner" no his actually 2 hours away, "5mins minutes bro" nope his actually 1 hour away
ARGHHHHH ACTUALLY IM STILL WAITING NOW !!!!!!!!!!
Guy 1: "hey how long you going to be"
Guy 2: "5mins"
Guy 1:"Jonno time?"
Guy 2: "Yeah"
Guy 1: "see you next weekend then"
Guy 2: "don't wait up"
When promises or prior arrangements are broken or not kept despite protestations.
He/she has said they're going to join us, hopefully they're not doing a Jonno and not going to show.
"ohh yeh that guys a right jonno"
"noooooo jonno i dont want to put my penis in ur mouth"
11👍 11👎