ladyburns

Sideburns created by grown out head hair which has been combed down in front of the ear, giving the illusion of sideburns. Generally worn by ladies, but also used by gentlemen who are incapable of growing proper sideburns.
Similar to a comb-over for sideburns.

Ian: Dude, check out my new chops.
Gary: I wish I could grow those, all I can grow are these ladyburns