Larding

(v) to use one's excessive weight to create a motion in any particular direction.

Friend 1: Hey, you remember those two obese people walking to the ATM earlier?

Friend 2: Walking? Don't you mean larding up to the ATM?

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Larding

To do nothing of any real interest, usually at home or at a mates house. Does not require the consumption of beer, but it helps.

John: What you up to Ste?
Ste: I'm just larding, what you up to?
John: Just larding on the internet dude.

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Lard On

An erection that is between 25% and 75% of full strength. Also called a semi.

Last night I had a lard on and had trouble entering Roxie.

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lard on

The state of arousal felt by a fat person when they near a pie shop, burger bar or other food outlet.

Jono was doing so well, but as he passed Greggs, he got such an uncontrollable lard on that he simply had to rush inside and buy four steak slices, three pasties and a bag of doughnuts. The twat.

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lard-by

Like a drive-by, but with a block of lard.

The act of throwing a block of lard at a pedestrian from a vehicle. The vehicle should be travelling at a slow enough speed for maximum aim by the person throwing. It is advised that this act is performed with at least 2 people in the vehicle so the driver can concentrate on speeding off after the thrower has hit the designated target.

Me and Jimmy done a lard-by on a group of chavs from his mum's car last night. We got the lard from asda so it only cost us 12 pence.

lard

A fat person that thinks that they aren't fat.

Bob: Hey you lard go get rid of that lard!
Bill: I'M NOT FAT!

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Lard

1. Pig Fat
2. Fat Person

1. There was a hunk of lard on the couch.
2. There was a hunk of lard on the couch.

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