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Martial law

The day Martial Law is declared, is the day you wake up and realize that your Constution/bill of Rights/Charter of Rites and Freedoms/etc. is really just about as valuable as that Kleenex you just spunked in... because rites are just privileges, and privileges can be revoked. Your government will do whatever it takes to stay in power, and they got the gunz...

Martial Law can be recognized by the increased presence of men with plexiglass shields and/or sub-machine-guns, a pale green fog that tastes, smells and feels like burning, random acts of hippy clubbing and indiscriminate shooting into crowds.

If your going to "get your loot on" its best to do it during the Preceding state of emergency, because once Martial Law is declared, the party's over. Usually once Martial Law is declared, its best to just stay home, tune into your local state-owned media outlet and do what they say. The punishment for most criminal offenses becomes summary execution, and most of the things you might do out in public become criminal offenses.
Looting = criminal offense = shot on sight
Exercising freedom of speech= criminal offense= disappeared (shot out of sight)
looking like you might be a 'rebel' = criminal offense = a. shot on sight or b. disappeared
On the street after curfew = criminal offense = shot on sight
Looking at the officer the wrong way = criminal offense = shot on sight


If you must go out, try not to wear that 'Rage Against the Machine' tee-shirt, red stars, or clenched-fist logos, as these may attract unwanted bursts of well-aimed fire in your direction.

Remember that meeting you went to back in college? Where the guy at the front was talking about "property is theft" this, and "smash the state" that? Which you attended just so you could meet that cute outspoken Alternachick from your poli-sci class? Well, I hope she put out because thats the reason you have to agents beating on you with a phone book, trying to get a confession out of you... in the washroom of a stadium-turned-detention center. Was she worth it? (tip: just confess, the electrodes are next and a tap to the back of the head hurts less).

"Rites? Didn't you hear son? Its Martial Law! Agent Jonston, hand me those electrodes will you?"

by -30- May 31, 2005

985👍 262👎


martial law

not just some stupid movie.

The suspension of normal civil law and its replacement by strict military control.

Imposed during crises, emergencies or civil unrest.

Military rules ALL.

suspension of rights and freedoms

Iraq, maybe, after the June 30 pseduo handover.

by rise up rise against June 21, 2004

246👍 70👎


Martial Law

Martial law is when the National Guard and/or Armed Forces are called upon by a Governor or President to restore order when the problem is too big for local law enforcement authorities.

If there is excessive violence and civil disorder in a certain place that the police are unable to cope with, the governor or president or mayor, may call for the national guard or army to quell the disturbances. The military usually declares a state of martial law. In this situation, a curfew is put in place, looters may be shot on sight if need be. Break the military law and you will be tried by a military court in most cases. This is a most extreme solution to an insurrection or revolution.

Martial law is not going to happen and it didn't even happen during Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. I worked New Orleans during Katrina and Martial Law was never declared. Sometimes it is necessary but it's not a threat to the American people. Remember, police officers are tax paying citizens with families also. They are not robots and they can think for themselves. It's not going to happen.

by doitphaggot September 30, 2008

154👍 157👎


Martial Law

Something that will most likely never happen in the US, as it would be considered highly unconstitutional.

COVID-19 happened, and Martial Law was never declared.

The massive Floyd protests also happened and Martial Law was never (officially) declared.

Martial Law would probably only be used as a last resort, as there are many better alternatives in this day and age.

Semi-woke Individual: If Martial Law were to happen, America would be akin to North Korea, and all the working class citizens of America would have to take a stand.

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian August 18, 2020

1👍 6👎


Martial Band Law

If the a collegiate marching band plays a Nicki Minaj song, according to Martial Band Law, no other collegiate marching band is allowed to play an arrangement of that same Nicki Minaj song.

Band Guy #1: Yo have you heard Hey Mama by David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj? We should totally make that into a stands tune.
Band Guy #2: Dude we can't do that, Temple Diamond Band plays it. Martial Band Law forbids us.

by FullyAlive September 5, 2015

1👍 1👎