molesting myself

The act of subjecting yourself to unwanted or improper sexual advances or activity, from yourself.

What masturbators do, even though everybody knows masturbation is a perverted sin that will eventually lead to blindness, really hairy hands and complete insanity. :-P

I spent all last night molesting myself. Damn, my dick is sore!

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molest myself

The act of touching and putting your hands in every pocket in your pants and shirt when searching for your keys or cell phone.

"Dude, did you lose your keys?"

"Howdju know? Did I molest myself again?"

"Yea, you looked like a priest in boy scouts summer camp."

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