mommandered

When you introduce your friend to your mom and she ends up gargaling his balls

After Jerry came over last night, he mommandered me. He told everyone she garggled his balls like listerine. But really he was just booshwebbled.

mommandeer

(vb) to commandeer a conversation initiated by a childless person or respond condescendingly to a childless person during a conversation for any of the following reasons:
- to emphasize how little he/she knows because he/she doesn't even have KIDS
- to emphasize how easy he/she really has it because he/she doesn't even have KIDS
- to emphasize how trivial the hard work he/she does truly is in comparison to doing ANY work and having KIDS at the same time

Melissa: I'm feeling really tired today. I've been running around all week. Between volunteering at the homeless shelter, my day job, my part time job, and going back to school...I hardly have time to relax.
Alison: Oh, stop complaining. You think you're busy? Try having kids.
John: Wow, Alison. Way to mommandeer the conversation.