my uncle

a person who will sexually assault u anytime he sees you u better run or he will whoop your ass ,we will get his gang together and they will put u in there van .

my uncle: " hey girls wanna see my van"
girls: "no"
my uncle runs after them

29👍 7👎

on my uncle grave

Something a girl like Carlee Wilson would say, to try to be cool. Related to phrases such as “on my momma” or “on gang”

bruh on my uncle grave that party was lit as fuck

My Uncle Ted

Refers to a creepy (often theoretical) person who is usually an uncle by genetics or marriage, else is a close male friend of the family who has a strong pedophilia feeling, and sometimes appears to be homosexual too. This always applies to adult men who have been accused or convicted of sexual violence/rape, child molestation, or bestiality, likes pornography, lives in a cave, is over 40 w/ a receding hairline, excessive back hair, ear hair, and nose hair, and/or gets a boner every time he see's a person under 12 years of age. These people should generally be avoided.

Person 1: "Would Chuck Norris be considered My Uncle Ted, considering he has banged every female in existence, which implies that he had a boner while around people under 12 years of-"
Incoming Roundhouse Kick: *POW*
Person 1: *Gasps for breath as he/she dies on ground*
Person 2: "That's what you get for questioning Chuck Norr-"
Incoming Roundhouse Kick: *POW*
Person 2: *Gasps for breath as he/she dies on ground*
Chuck Norris: "That's what you get for being in the presence of someone who has questioned Chuck Norris."
Incoming Roundhouse Kick: *FAIL*
Chuck Norris: "Nice try Mr T., but only I can do that." *PWNZ*

18👍 5👎

Call my Uncle

Taking a Shit.

Can I call my uncle at your house later?

12👍 4👎

Like My Uncle

When you turn something awkwardly stated into something that sounds like you got touched by your uncle.

bambam- it was weird when me and my black boyfriend touched butts when we had sex.
brendan- o just like my uncle at our family christmas party when we were alone.
bambam-really?
brendan- No sick fuck.

6👍 2👎

wunkle my uncle

When you want some someone to wake up and then beat up your uncle.

Guy 1:DARN DANGIT! GO WUNKLE MY UNCLE JARED!
Guy 2: Ok I shall have him down by 5:00!

5👍 1👎

My uncle burt

Well he’s my uncle and his name is Burt. I think he is my dads brother. In his 50s-60s.

“I’m going to go mini golfing with my uncle Burt, later dad!”
“You don’t have an uncle Burt!”
“Wha-“