neglectolator

Any baby-containing device marketed to the masses with the purpose of containing a human infant, usually in developmentally unnatural positions, for the convenience of adults. The amount of time spent in neglectolators restricts the human infant's ability to develop his or her motor skills, and interferes with the ability to develop concentration and the will. Examples of neglectolators include walkers, "exersaucers", jumpers, cribs, strollers, and high chairs. Also, a car seat is considered a neglectolator when it is used in any place besides an automobile.

New Mom #1: "Oh my god, that is the nicest $3000 crib ever! You are soooo lucky to have such generous in-laws!"

New Mom #2: "I know! I love it! I let Gwenivere spend almost every waking moment in her crib, except when I feed her!"

Dr. Mac, walking by: "Total neglectolator. See you in 5 years for her first Adderall script yo."