Newfane

A small town that’s part of Olcott, NY, right by Lake Ontario. It used to be pretty famous, like presidents would come to some big hotel in Olcott in the 20’s with yachts and shit but now Olcott is a ghetto/redneck town whose biggest claims to fame are that it’s a half hour away from Buffalo New York and a carousel park that’s been around for a century that’s open like twice a year. There’s a sign on every lawn that either says “Repeal the NY Safe Act” or “Trump/Pence”, despite the safe act being 5 year old news and the election was a year ago. The only places to go are Bill’s Diner (a greasy spoon that make sure you smell like fry oil after 5 minutes in there), Dollar General, Family Dollar, Tim Horton’s, and like 5 pizza places. The school is pretty interesting, any stereotype you see in movies or whatever will be here. Despite being a redneck town, a lot of the kids think they’re in gangs and shit and have lived the hard life like their favorite rapper. As Mr. Newfane says, it can be like 80 and below 0 in the same week. There’s never snow days, but when there is, it’s announced like 5 minutes before school starts.

Hey man how do you get to Newfane , New York?

Drive to Buffalo, then go Northeast until you see teachers striking and a black lake with dead trout.

Thanks brotha.

newfane

ghetto town in western ny where all the white people think theyre black. the weather goes from 85 degrees and sunny to -10 and snowing in like 1 hour. no one moves to newfane on purpose. they're either born here, or could no longer afford holy angels. newfane has 7 places to go: coffee emporium, kenyons, petersons, bills diner, the chinese "five minute" place, shurfine, and dollar general.

billy- hey sup nigga?
joey- not much, just hangin with mah homiiezz.
billy- yeah, newfane sucks.
joey- at least its not wilson.

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Newfane Cousin

Newfane is a small town in Niagara County, New York, and the citizens of this fine town have a habit of referring to family friends/acquaintances/neighbors as their "cousins", "aunts", or "uncles"; when no blood or marital relation exists.

Someone: "My cousin/aunt/uncle is coming into town this weekend and we're having a party."

Me: "Is it your real cousin/aunt/uncle, or is it a Newfane cousin/aunt/uncle? "

Newfane sports

Newfane sports take place in the run down town of Newfane NY, the sports are not good and just barely not bad. if you go to newfane and play sports you are either a horrible athlete or a great athlete with 20 horrible teammates. If you play, you play all game because no one else wants to play for Newfane. Every year Newfane sports claim they are better and stronger then lose to wilson regardless.

Football player : we lost 35-0 to Medina last night
Newfane football player: only 35, they put up 65 on us, damn fuck newfane sports

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