nothingham

What locals call Nottingham, NH on account of it's population that's never peaked 3,000 even though it's got 48.4 square miles of land.

Guy 1: Hey, have you been to nothingham?
Guys 2: Nah, I've only driven through it. It takes 25 minutes to go from end to end, yet I've never seen a soul!

Sheriff of Nothingham

A mall cop. Other rent-a-cop like security person. Usually armed with a walkie-talkies and pot bellies. Preferred transportation is a Segway.

We was at the mall breakin Joey's balls in the food court and the Sheriff of Nothingham says I gotta be quiet.

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