paid witness

an unarmed security guard

I mean, what the hell is this guy gonna do against a heat packing thief?

Lady: Aahhh! That guy just took my purse!
Guard: He sure did!
Lady: Well, do something, dammit!
Guard: What do you want me to do? Run up and slap him so he can knife me to death? I'm just a paid witness!
Lady: Argh!

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