paper-saviour

When one has a horrificaly messy shit and realises there is no paper, hearby using a paper-saviour to clean themselves up - eg, old train tickets, pages from a book, £10 bills. Not to be confused with paper-saver.

"The night was dark, cold and remote. I had been in this toilet for six minutes now, wondering how I could get myself out of the shitty mess I had made of my arsehole. Then I seen it. A paper-saviour in the form of an old sock, disguarded like it had no purpous on Earth anymore. 'Well it would have one more use now' I thought as I wiped away smiling."