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pedosadism

finding great pleasure (not necessarily sexual) in causing children discomfort. this can be in the present (e.g. implicit threats of physical violence) or the future (i.e. lying). it is these lies which are most commonly referred to as "pedosadism." sometimes they are short term questions providing options that will never be fulfilled: "do you want to go to an amusement park tomorrow?"

for the patient pedosadist, however, lies can be disinformation that is latent for years, for example "magnets are large concentrations of a kind of virus that pulls towards another kind of virus to mate with it. if you leave the magnets stuck together too long, the viruses will mate, and there won't be any pull left on either side of the magnet."

it is crucial that any disinformation told to children does not provide an evolutionary advantage. these lies are strictly meant for the child to get laughed at for saying something absurd at some point in the future.

CAMP COUNSELOR A: yesterday when we were on the way back to camp from volunteering to clean up a park in inner-city baltimore, i walked down the aisle of the school bus and asked each kid which flavor of milkshake he preferred. i kept a running tally on a piece of paper. then when we got back to camp and the kids saw there were no milkshakes, they were furious! it was hysterical.
CAMP COUNSELOR B: you suffer from an acute case of motha-fuckin-pedosadism

ADULT TO 6-YEAR-OLD NEPHEW: computer mice are called "mice" because the wire that connects them to the computer is special. it's made from mouse tails.
--- 7 years later ---
13 YEAR OLD TO FRIENDS: but the wires for mice are different from normal computer cables because they have mouse tails in them.
FRIENDS TO 13 YEAR OLD: you're a fucking idiot
13 YEAR OLD TO FRIENDS: but-but... my uncle is an asshole

by hadracha May 18, 2011

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