A sudden illusion of being amidst friends in the middle of oneβs stark and sad aloneness during this time of COVID-19.
While I was reading I looked up at all of my phantom friends who appeared right out of the blue and felt immediately comforted.
Noun: A friend who is always there when they need something but never around when you need them, like a ghost.
Josh: So Kayla texted me at 4 am to let her into the building so some random guy could bang her. Yet when I asked her earlier in the day to look at her class notes she was "unavailable."
Matt: Wow, she is such a Phantom Friend.
10π 2π
Simple to perform, produces hilarity for hours. First, turn on your video camera. Next, you engage in anal sex with your partner, but bring a friend secretly. Make sure that you are near a window. As you are about to dispatch your men, pull out and let your friend in on he deed. Try not to let her notice. Run outside to the window and make a silly face at her. Hilarity ensues. Ten points.
While giving Sam's litle sister a Phantom Friend, I punched a hole through the window and gave her a bloody nose.
6π 8π
You are doing a girl from behind while she is facing a window. You pull out and your friend resumes for you while the girl still thinks its you. You then walk outside, and wave to the girl through the window, therefore telling the girl that it is no longer you fucking her.
Yo bitch you wanna come over and pull the phantom friend on my girl.
4π 7π
More of an acquaintance. Most happen to be egocentric people.
They either
1) Share goodtimes with you, but when things get tough, they suddenly disappear.
Or
2) Are like a gold digger, but for the joy of having a friend instead of money. They are only a friend to benefit themselves. Once they've had their fill, they disappear until they repeat the process with another and feel lonely again.
Turns out they were just a phantom friend. After the fun ended, she just disappeared.
1π 1π
A person who only calls you to hang out when they want to get drunk. After 3 hours of drunkeness, you are best friends; and then they disappear until the next drunken session is in order.
Hey, I didn't know you knew Ashley. Yeah, I hang out with her but only on the weekends; she's my phantom drunk friend.